This Story is Not About an Elephant – Read and Print

By Rachel Dunstan Muller, copyright 2019

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Now, the first thing you need to know about this story is that it is NOT about an elephant. So, whatever you do, try not to think about elephants. Don’t think about wrinkly grey skin or ears the size of umbrellas. Don’t. Think. About. Elephants.

There was a girl named Nia, and Nia certainly wasn’t thinking about elephants as she walked home from school with her brother Antwon. She was thinking about all the puddles on the sidewalk she had to walk around, and how heavy her backpack was, and the snack she was going to eat when she got home.

In fact, Nia was thinking about so many things that she almost didn’t notice the new store that had appeared on the corner, a block away from their apartment building.

She almost didn’t notice it, but just as they were going past, she saw a colourful sign in the window. It said – “Unusual Pets – FREE – Today Only.”

“Antwon, look, free pets!” Nia said, tugging at her brother’s arm.

Antwon read the sign and shrugged. “So? We can’t have a pet. Pets aren’t allowed in our building.”

“But it says unusual pets. Can’t we look?”

Antwon shrugged again and walked to the door.

Now, Nia still wasn’t thinking about elephants as she followed her brother into that store. She had no idea what she was going to see – but she definitely wasn’t expecting an elephant.

The store was almost empty, except for a man and two cages – a little cage, and a big cage, which were both covered.

“Hello,” the man said. “I suppose you’ve come for a free pet?”

“We’re just looking,” said Antwon.

“Absolutely,” said the man. “As it happens, I only have three pets left. Would you like to see the first one?”

“Yes, please!” said Nia.

The man went to the first cage, the little cage, and pulled back the cover. “Ta-da!”

Nia leaned forward to get a better look. She looked in the cage, then she looked up at the man, then she looked in the cage. The “pet” inside was about the size of her brother’s fist – maybe a little bigger. It was brown, and kind of lumpy, and it didn’t have any arms or legs – or any other body parts for that matter.

“Is that supposed to be a joke?” said Antwon. “That’s not a pet; that’s a potato.”

“I beg your pardon,” the man said. “His name is Bartholomew, and he is an unusual pet, like the sign says. In fact, Bartholomew is one of the best pets you could ever have. He’s very quiet. He doesn’t bite. He doesn’t need any special food or attention. But he does like a good scratch under the chin every now and then.”

“That’s crazy,” Antwon said. “It’s a potato. Potatoes don’t have chins.”

“Shh! You’ll hurt his feelings,” the man said. “But, if you don’t like Bartholomew, perhaps you’ll be more impressed with my second pet.”

Now Nia still wasn’t thinking about elephants as the man went to the second cage. The second cage was much bigger than the first – but it wasn’t nearly big enough for an elephant, not even a baby elephant.

“Are you ready?” said the man. “Ta-da!”

Nia leaned forward, and then she leaned forward even more. The cage was full of leaves; that’s all she could see. But then way in a corner she saw – a fuzzy caterpillar.

Antwon shook his head. “Are you kidding? That’s not a pet. That’s just a caterpillar.”

“Excuse me,” the man said. “That’s not just any caterpillar. That’s a rare Kazikooroo caterpillar from the Kazikooroo jungle. And when it comes out of its cocoon, it’s not going to be a moth or a butterfly; it’s going to be a red-billed, blue-footed Kazikooroo trumpet bird – which happens to be the loudest bird on the planet. Now, that’s what I call an unusual pet!”

Nia looked over at her brother. He did not look impressed. In fact, he didn’t look like he believed that man one little bit.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” the man said. “Well, perhaps you’ll be more impressed by my last pet.”

Nia looked around. There were still only two cages in the room. But then she noticed a door at the back of the room. And just as she noticed that door, she heard a thump from the other side – a loud thump, so loud it was like a hundred people all jumped at the same time. And then there was more thumping, so loud it shook the floor.

“Uh, what’s that?” Nia said.

“That’s Tiny,” said the man. “She must be waking up from her nap. Would you like to meet her?”

Before Nia or Antwon could answer, the man went to the door.

Now, Nia still wasn’t thinking about elephants – at least until she heard a loud trumpeting sound!

Then the man opened the door.

There, on the other side, was a HUGE animal – as big as an elephant. And it had a long trunk – like an elephant – and long ivory tusks – like an elephant. But its ears were smaller than an elephant’s ears, and it had a hump on its back, and its whole body was covered in long, shaggy hair.

It wasn’t an elephant after all. Do you know what is was? It was a woolly mammoth!

“But that’s impossible!” Antwon said. “Woolly mammoths are extinct!”

“I told you my pets were unusual,” said the man.

And I told you this story wasn’t about an elephant!

The End.

 Oh.

Did you want to know what happened to Nia and Antwon? Well, they couldn’t take a woolly mammoth back to their apartment, and their mother wouldn’t let them have a caterpillar that was going to turn into the loudest bird on the planet. So, instead Nia settled for Bartholomew, the pet potato. And it was true: Bartholomew did like a good scratch under the chin every now and then.

And when Nia grew up, she moved to a little house in the country with a great big yard, and she filled that yard with all kinds of pets: with dogs and cats and pigs and chickens, and even a llama.

But no elephants.

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