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By Rachel Dunstan Muller, Copyright 2022

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Have you ever tasted plum pudding? It’s a little bit like a very rich and heavy and moist raisin bread. Not everyone likes it, but King Ebenezer — he loved plum pudding. He loved it so much, he would have eaten it three times a day, every day of the week.

But the royal doctors said that wouldn’t be wise, and the Queen agreed, and so it was that the King could only enjoy his plum pudding on Sundays, after he’d eaten his peas and carrots and Brussels sprouts.

Mmm. King Ebenezer did love his pudding. He loved it so much, that he wouldn’t share the tiniest morsel with anyone else – not even the Queen. Not even with his favourite pet – a tiny poodle named Truffle.

Now, what you have to understand was that this was no ordinary plum pudding. It was a royal plum pudding, made with a secret recipe that had been handed down for generations. This recipe was so secret, that only two people in the whole world knew what it was: the Royal High Cook, and the King himself.

So you can imagine the High Cook’s shock when she went to get the royal pudding one Sunday afternoon – and it was GONE! The poor Cook nearly fell over, she was so dismayed.

And King Ebenezer? He was enraged when he learned the news! Of course, he was – his royal plum pudding – stolen! It was a catastrophe. Oh, the king was so angry, he turned nearly as purple as a plum himself.

Now it just so happened that there was a trail of crumbs leading away from the royal kitchen. Well, it didn’t take long before everyone in the castle had gathered to follow that trail. The royal guards went first, of course. Then the King, and the Queen, and all her ladies-in-waiting. And after that, came the royal attendants, and the kitchen staff, and all the castle servants. Everyone went, even the boy who cleaned the royal stables. Even the mice who lived in the royal stables. Of course they did! Someone had stolen the King’s pudding! It was the most exciting thing that had happened in years.

And so the King and his companions followed that trail of crumbs, out of the castle and across the countryside. As they went, more people joined the crowd. Mile after mile they marched – until they spied a mountain in the distance.

Now, this wasn’t just any mountain – it was the most frightening-looking mountain you can imagine – with jagged stone spires that reached right into the clouds. The kind of mountain where dragons might live!

Well, the closer they got, the slower they went, until the King and his followers were practically tiptoeing. But they didn’t stop altogether, and eventually the trail of crumbs led them right to the foot of the mountain. And do you know what they found when they got there? Not a great big gate. Not a gloomy cave, where a dragon might live. No. What they found instead was a very tiny door.

“Well, what are you all waiting for?” said King Ebenezer. “I want my pudding!”

The Commander of the royal guards bowed quickly. “Ahem. My apologies, your Royal Highness, but none of my guards is small enough to fit through that door.”

It was true; the little door was too small even for the smallest child.

“Oh, Ebenezer,” the Queen said. “You’ve carried that silly poodle of yours all this way. Send her through the door.”

Poor Truffle. When the little dog heard the Queen’s suggestion, she whimpered in the King’s arms, and tried to make herself even smaller.

“I’m not sending Truffle in there,” said the King. “Who knows what’s behind that door!”

Well, no one knew quite what to do after that – until a little mouse came forward. As I told you before – even the mice from the royal stables had followed the King. They didn’t want to miss the excitement. And this little mouse had been eating the plum pudding crumbs as she went – and those crumbs were the most delicious thing she’d ever tasted.

“Excuse me, your Majesty,” the little mouse squeaked. “I don’t know for sure that I can get your pudding back, but if you want, I can try.”

Well, since no one else would fit through the door, the King quickly agreed. What else could he do?

And so the little mouse went to the tiny door – and knocked politely.

No one answered – at first. But then, as the King and all his companions leaned forward, the tiny door began to creak open. The little mouse was ready. She squeezed inside so quickly, that no one else was able to see who – or what – was on the other side of that door before it shut again.

After that, all that everyone else could do – was wait. Wait, and wait, and wait. The King’s stomach was beginning to growl rather fiercely when the little mouse finally reappeared.

“Well?” King Ebenezer said. “Did you find my pudding?”

“I’m afraid there’s nothing left, your Majesty,” said the little mouse, wiping a crumb from her whiskers. “But I did find the thieves – and they are very sorry.”

As she was speaking, three very small trolls appeared behind the mouse. “I beg your pardon, sir,” said the first troll. “We didn’t mean any harm. But when we smelled your plum pudding, we just couldn’t help ourselves.”

“That’s no excuse for stealing my pudding,” said the King.

“Oh, don’t you worry, sir,” said the second troll. “Just give us the recipe so we can make it ourselves, and we’ll never trouble you again.”

“Give you my recipe? My secret recipe?” said the King. “Absolutely not! No one eats the royal plum pudding, but me.”

Well, when the little trolls heard that, their little eyes got much bigger. No more tasty plum pudding to fill their little troll bellies? It was enough to make them cry! And they did cry – great, big, salty troll tears. Boo, hoo, hoo. Well, when they saw the trolls crying, the King’s guards began to cry too, and the Queen, and her ladies-in-waiting. Soon everyone in the procession was tearing up – even little Truffle. They’d never even tasted the royal plum pudding, and as long as the King kept the recipe to himself, they never would.

Well, let me tell you, it was a terrible sound – all that sniveling and sobbing and wailing. It was like thunder and a windstorm and a hive of angry bees all rolled into one. The King covered his ears, but it was no use. It just got louder, and louder – until the mountain itself began to tremble.

“Alright,” the King shouted at last. “I’ll share my recipe. Please – just stop all that boo-hooing!”

Well, if the sound of everyone crying at once was enough to make the mountain shake – you can imagine how loud it was when everyone started cheering instead. Thank goodness everyone turned quickly and started back for the castle. If they had all stayed beside the mountain, I think their cheers might have started a rockslide.

Well, I’m very pleased to say that this story has a happy ending. When everyone was back at the castle, the royal cooks received permission to make the biggest batch of plum pudding you’ve ever seen. I wasn’t there, but I hear it was delicious. And now that the recipe isn’t a secret anymore, perhaps I’ll try a batch myself one day.

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